This is the fourth of an eleven part series of a book I found at the Victory Fort Bookstore, which I am currently reading. So we will finish it together! =) I urge you to get a copy of your own*, since these summaries do not and cannot do justice to the book.
The book is tandanannnn…Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel.
The book is divided into 11 Chapters, and I will do one blog entry per chapter:
- Why Well Meaning Parenting Falls Short
- The Truth Behind Grace
- A Secure Love
- A Significant Purpose
- A Strong Hope
- A Delivery System for Grace
- The Freedom to Be Different
- The Freedom to Be Vulnerable
- The Freedom to Be Candid
- The Freedom to Make Mistakes
- Evening Grace
So let’s get to it shall we?
How to Build a Significant Purpose in Your Child
- Children feel significant when they are regularly affirmed.
There is a cause-and-effect between encouragement and confidence. Kids who hear well-timed and well-placed affirmation from their parents are more easily convinced of the truth the Bible says about their intrinsic worth.
We must however be careful not to overly praise our children. For instead of building up their confidence, we run the risk of making our kids brittle and ready to break at the slightest gust of wind. The point being made by the author is that we should only praise when there is an actual, tangible accomplishment by our kids.
The book tells us to catch our children when they doing things right, to flash the light on the kinds of behavior you want to see more of.
- Children feel significant when they know they have your attention.
What kind of attention do our children need? One that is informed.
We need to have a working knowledge of your of our children’s likes and dislikes, their friends in there the tractors, and the big things in the little things that matter most in their lives.
More often than not children are showered not with time not with attention but with material gifts. While there are certainly instances when gifts are warranted and should be given, a child needs more of your time and attention.
Your child will not be harmed in the long term (they may of course pout at the dinner table!) without the latest and greatest toy. But your child will be spiritually and emotionally starved (which will have a long term effect) without the proper guidance from and informed attention of their parents.
- Children feel significant when they are gracefully admonished.
Kids with clear and responsible leadership in their lives are less susceptible to the call of the wild.
Kids need structure. I remember gasping when I saw my daughter in preschool walking to the toilet with (1) her hands clasped behind her back, and (2) walking in a straight line (well, as straight as a 4 year old can!)
I asked her teacher about why my kid had to do that, she replied with a smile, “For them to be able to follow rules and develop the ability to control their impulses.”
And the best thing was, my kid was happily humming to herself as she walked (in a straight line with her hands clasped behind her back).
* It’s available on Amazon, as an e-book and a physical book and at the Victory Fort Bookstore as a physical book.