I will be doing an eleven part book summary series of a book I am currently reading. So we will finish it together! =) I urge you to get a copy of your own*, since these summaries do not and cannot do justice to the book.
The book is tandanannnn…Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel.
The book is divided into 11 Chapters, and I will do one blog entry per chapter:
- Why Well Meaning Parenting Falls Short
- The Truth Behind Grace
- A Secure Love
- A Significant Purpose
- A Strong Hope
- A Delivery System for Grace
- The Freedom to Be Different
- The Freedom to Be Vulnerable
- The Freedom to Be Candid
- The Freedom to Make Mistakes
- Evening Grace
So let’s get to it shall we?
Why Well Meaning Parenting Falls Short
Dr. Kimmel tells us that how we view God partly determines how we parent our children. If you view God as a judgmental God, then you will most likely be a judgmental parent. If you view God as a one who wants you to follow rules, they you may become a legalistic parent.
According to the book, judgmental parents are those parents of spend most of thief time making sure that their family is better than the ones around them. You would often hear from parents like these something along these lines “You may be bad, but you are better than so-and-so.”
Kids with judgmental parents often leave home with the a sense of spiritual elitism.
One the other hand, legalistic parents are described in the book as those who spend most of their time trying to make sure that their family does everything right. You would often hear from parents like these something along these lines “You may be bad, but if you try harder, you can ultimately please God.”
Kids with judgmental parents often leave home feeling guilty.
The author tells us that there is a third way…being grace-based parents. Grace-based parenting is one where we transmit and share to our children the grace (defined as unmerited favor) God gives us. You would often hear from parents like these something along these lines, “You may struggle doing the right thing sometimes, but you’re forgiven.”
Grace-based parents are often keenly aware of their propensity toward sin, and this makes the grace and love they received from Christ that much more appreciated.
Kids with grace-based parents often leave home with the feeling that they know first hand what the genuine love of God looks like.
To be clear, Grace does not exclude obedience, respect, boundaries, or discipline but it does determine the climate under which these are carried out.
What are children’s inner needs?
- A need for security
- A need for significance
- A need for strength
What should we, as parents, do in order to held our children meet these needs?
We need to give them love, purpose, and hope.
In summary, grace is not so much what we do as parents, but how we do what we do.
Would like to be a grace-based parent?
* It’s available on Amazon, as an e-book and a physical book and at the Victory Fort Bookstore as a physical book.